On an Island 50 miles east of Mexico lay Mrs Diabetes' dildo factory and her one million slaves, cursed to do nothing but spin clay dildos on wheels, smelt glass dildos into shape by using friction from their dicks, usually resulting in them burning off and being beaten for it, or sucking on previously made dildos to form a bell end. She sat on her throne, laughing at them whilst eating snickers then throwing the wrappers at them.
Due to humans being stupid and doing nothing but taking pictures of their kids taking a shit and calling it cute on Facebook, no one had dared venture even anywhere close to this cursed island. She saw her mother as a threat, and not risking a rebellion she sliced her up and fed her to starving African children. Then making flutes with her bones, she even kept the breasts to attack to her plane as machine guns. Everyone feared being eaten by her so they kept negative thoughts to themselves.
Until, one day, a man named Alfred Hitchcock was browsing some African drums at a thrift store. After finding a one with a penis drawn on, he bought it for $50. Getting into his Reliant Regal, he drove away at a whopping 2 mph. At sunset, he reached the cemetary where Hitler was burried. He began to play the drum and chanted:
''Hitler, oh Hitler, only today, I offer you the choice to do something totally not gay. You are my last hope to draw the line, and I promise you will be resurrected just fine.''
There was a loud rumbling, as if Chewbaca was getting lucky with Shrek, and Hitler's soul arose.
"You summoned me, mo fuckah?" Hitler asked.
"Damn right. There is a fat bitch enslaving good men to make dildos for the rest of their lives, and I need you to stop her."
"Why the fuck I care, yah double chinned nasty ass dumbass, I got twelve babes down there, I'm busy dickwee."
"They're Nazis."
"Fuck sake... fine, but it'll cost $1, moron."
Hitler unsheathed his sword and whistled for his ghost Nazi horse, who appeared out the ground. Yelling "Ich bin ein Schwuler!" he rose up into the sky, wings appeared on the horse, and they shot foreward. They say it was so sexy, you could hear Mozart playing when you saw it.
Anyway, Hitler soon found the building. He dive bombed through the window, crashing into the main factory and pointing his sword at Honey McFat Fuck, he cried: "Fat bitch, I'm gonna slice your double chin off!" she laughed, and unsheathed her flaming dual swords of Diabetes and came at Hitler, but being suck a tiny obese hobbit he managed to disarm her and kick her like a football out the window into the ocean. Obviously, she sank, and even Megaladon saw here then said: "Too big for me, fuck that." She sank and sank until she choked on her own double chin. That was the end of the Honey Boo Boo family's reign, her dad being a dumb redneck who blew himself up with a toaster. Hitler then set all the slaves free, able to live normal lives, some even becoming famous.
The end.
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''Written by ''